PUUU~~ or PU?

An All American NCAA basketball coach once said, " The best defence is an offence".... or was it the other way around.. I can't remember but who cares! Today as I look at my notes on "Industrial Economics" I will debunk an accusation that has rested on me for several years. Started by none other than the most evil girl alive: Joyce Van. I will start with a brief description on the background of the culprit followed by what ensued soon after. This overall blog will debunk several accusations including:

1. My Age
2. My supposed crush on my business law tutor.
3. My taste in metro-sexual fashion (mainly Pink Undies)
4. My girliness a.k.a (Mirliness)
   

Part I

When I first met this girl, she seemed like a fairly normal girl. We were young and partying was the "in" thing to do at the time. As ego's clash, many were debating who had the greatest alcohol resistance. I nonetheless never joined in these things as I'm simply not a drinker. Nevertheless, I decided to socialise and started to talk to Joyce. Soon after I deduced that she is quite gullible and decided to exploit this new found knowledge. Joyce was not aware I was a non drinker and saw me with a cup of clear liquid. It was filled to the brim and I went up to her without hesitation and skulled the whole cup. I did this several times and after a while she remarked, " Wow, aren't you gone by now?". I smiled and shook my head. Till this day I have no idea how she found out I was lying but has taken revenge on me by starting several rumours.... The clock strikes 937 and I feel obliged to go back to my studies, I will continue on soon

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PART II (Debunking 1 & 2)

This shouldn't be too hard to debunk as both of them ( actually all of them are untrue). However she insists to tell everyone that I'm thirteen years old. I don't understand the rationale behind it but she managed to convince a few people (including Ming) that I was a child prodigy and was able to fast-track my high school and university career. She also tells people that I'm very sensitive about the age issue and to never bring it up when I'm around. Well... I'm 21 this year and have my O's, so according to the road laws, it's not possible for me to be 13. Myth BUSTED.

Ok, this second myth stemmed from Business Law classes in second year. I have nothing against the tutor herself however she is the type of woman who could silence any man. Her stern look could tame the wildest of beasts. During class one day, Frank and I were casually joking around while she was talking and immediately we were confronted by HER. Let's just say that we never sat with each other ever again that semester. Out of no where, Joyce started accusing me and telling everyone I had a HUGE crush on this tutor. She also persisted to tell everyone that I like to be dominated in relationships and hence my secret lust for this tutor. This certainly is not true and is obviously more than just a lie.

Actually, now that I think about it a bit more, the joke was more of a revenge because I payed her about our other tutor PaPa Gallo. This guy obviously had the hots for Joyce and would pay special attention to her during the labs. He would always roam around our area and would continually ask Joyce if she needed any help. He would also set secret consultations that no one knew about which only Joyce was allowed to attend. During these consultations they would have candle lit dinner with the waiter playing soft violin love songs. Anwyays you can imagine the rest, isn't there some sort of staff-student ethics at our uni?

PART III (Debuking 3 & 4)

Accusation 3 & 4 are interrelated so I thought I'd debunk them together. Obviously I aint the type of guy to wear such metro gear as I will lose my street credibility. Everyone in town knows I'm a lyrical genius and I'm from the streets! Well, I guess Joyce doesn't think so. Ever since our tutor payouts, we haven't stopped and stories have started to get more twisted. So much so, that the story has ended up with me wearing pink undies. For some reason, everyone seems to love this joke and laugh which is a big blow for me, because whatever great comeback i come up with, it will never negate the effects of the initial laughter. Everyone loves the story about pink undies and the story also some how spread to everyone in the HKU. When I arrived in HK to greet my so called friend, I was introduced and everyone was like " oh hey! so you're the pink guy ;). pink undies LOL" or " hey pink guy". I was like "..." what on earth is going on? this is horrible. This is why I need to voice out my defence once and for all.

Her anecdote begins like this:

"One day, I was over at Ivan's house to borrow a textbook. I went up to his room and saw him using the computer. I was in a rush so I asked him where I could get the textbook. He told me to look in his wardrobe. So as I opened the wardrobe, some mysterious box dropped from the top shelf and a box of bulk pink undies popped out. I was so embarrassed as there were so many pink undies"

Firstly:

1. Joyce has only been to my house once.
   
2. My computer is not in my room.
3. Joyce hasn't been in my room.
4. Joyce hasn't even been inside my house, she came over once to play tennis.
5. Where on earth can you buy a bulk box of pink undies?

I think this post is good enough to debunk the so called "mirliness" of me. Mirl as in (man-girl) is not the perfect phrase to term me. I might not be Hee-man but I don't consider myself a girly dude, I just don't roll that way y'all know what I'm saying?

If you managed to read up to this part, I congratulate you and your efforts will not be in vain. As you know the war is not over and we will continually flood eachother's facebooks with constant insults and incriminating graffiti. Luckily I got my cousin to join the bandwagon and we have more than succeeded to win the graffiti war. Here is a selection what I feel is the best drawings:

Courtesies of Joyce:

These are a few of my comebacks: Obviously it's hard to have a comeback for PU but hey at least I tried:

Burita